By Stephen Tully Dierks
(Illustrated by Shona MacPherson)

What I did was I inserted, ladled, slurped, stuffed plants or animal parts into mouth via hands
and utensils, masticated with teeth, and swallowed.

I drew oxygen from the atmosphere into bloodstream and expelled carbon dioxide from
bloodstream into the atmosphere via muscular contractions of the lungs.

I squatted to forcibly eject feces from rectum, typically into a porcelain bowl.

Expulsive spraying of urine via penis or vagina.

I stroked, massaged, and penetrated vagina using finger(s), producing rhythmic contractions.

I formed cylinder with fingers, thereupon vertically stroking penile shaft at variable speeds
and with variable tightness of grip until provoking the ejaculation of semen onto fingers,
into functionally-positioned Kleenex, or, depending on force of ejaculation, elsewhere in
surrounding environs in an unpredictable fashion.

Collected food particles from teeth using brush and floss.

I ran forwards on concrete pathway to predetermined physical location, producing sweat,
increased heartbeat rate, and various temporarily gratifying hormonal effects.

I took a slim, plastic, rectangular card out of pants pocket, slid it into slot of a plastic kiosk,
utilized fingers to press buttons as instructed by automated digital displays, pulled paper bills
from slot in the kiosk, placed bills in pants pocket along with the plastic card.

I lay prostrate with arms spread in vaguely submissive/resigned fashion on soft surface.

I lay supine on soft surface with unfocused eyes staring at bright glowing light.

I touched other human's name on phone screen, whereupon the seeming passage of time,
audibly punctuated by dial tone, was intensely observed until red phone icon was pressed.

I walked aimlessly through largely undistinguishable corridors.

I lit natural substances with fire and inhaled/exhaled smoke via pipe or spliff to produce
psychedelic effects in the brain.

I wandered on concrete pathway vaguely-toward minimally-consciously-remembered physical

destination while staring at handheld electronic device and robotically scrolling with pointer

I pulled plastic, rectangular card out of pants pocket, extended arm to place card in hand
of muscular/obese human, aligned eyeline with his, extended arm to receive card back and
place it in pants pocket.

I moved jaw and tongue, utilizing vocal chords and brain to produce sounds conventionally
understood as words while maintaining eye contact with other human and emitting casual-
seeming chuckles at brain-determined appropriate intervals.

I imbibed six or more wheat-and-barley-derived alcoholic beverages.

I imbibed double-or-triple-digit-alcohol-content liquids in small plastic containers all-at-once
with throwback of head to indicate exuberance.

I lay facedown in puddle of vomit with wet lips and pulsing headache.

I lay on soft surface, successively on side, stomach, and back, eyelids closed, until
experiencing rapid eye movement.

I interacted my genitals with other human's genitals, becoming simultaneously consciously-
aware-of and abstractly-detached-from--for the duration of the interaction's seconds-long
peak stimulus period--the apparatuses by which one perceives "reality."

I stroked other human's back with right hand while clinging together in frontal embrace, half-
seated on soft surface, chin almost-resting on other's shoulder, sometimes alternating back-
stroke with caress or grasp of other's hand, left hand touching the small of other's back,
sometimes rotating slightly to momentarily touch--almost to hold--the waist and to pull other
closer into embrace, falling sideways into near-fetal position, side by side, frontside pressed
to other's backside, left arm draped over other's side touching other's belly and chest, other's
rising and falling chest palpable in the fingers and one's own rising and falling chest perceived
consciously now as it happens.


stephen tully dierks lives in new york city